In the Randomised Record series, I take us both on an adventure to (re)discover my record collection. Fate decides: whether it be that obscure grunge album I bought recently or that emo rap record from 2017. Nothing is safe from the hands of the randomiser! I will listen to the entire album and highlight my favourite song off of it here on the blog. Do I still enjoy my records as much as when I bought ‘em? Let’s find out. Today, episode 28: ‘Beste. Stuurlui. Ooit.’ (2012) by The Don’t Touch My Croque-Monsieurs.

The what?! Yes, that’s right. The Don’t Touch My Croque-Monsieurs was a Dutch rock collective hailing from North Amsterdam. They only ever released two albums: ‘Ruimtemissie Schruimtemissie’ (2010) and ‘Beste. Stuurlui. Ooit.’ (2012) amongst several singles with titles ranging from ‘Leonardo DiCaprio’ to ‘Zoute Drop’ (meaning salty liquorice). For a long time, the group upheld a solid cult status and became one of my favourite bands. In 2015, the Abel van Gijlswijk-fronted group toyed with the idea of a new group by releasing 4 albums in 1 month time. 5 years later, when the world really went to shits, TDTMCM was put on hold and this group became the artist’s #1 project: Hang Youth. So long for the history of this band, now on to a more subjective review of this group’s music.

‘Cos, you know, this music meant a great deal for me growing up. This band was pretty much one of its kind when I was a teenager, or at least one of a few making this kind of music that I was aware of. I have countless of memories going absolutely crazy with my friends listening to this band with two specific highlights being gigs at Magneet Festival in Amsterdam late 2013, and a few months later aboard the Veronica ship moored in  Amsterdam’s NDSM area. Me and my mate must’ve been the biggest fans of this group knowing literally every single word of every song they had ever released and without hesitation jumping into as many mosh pits as possible. Man, those were the days. The Don’t Touch My Croque-Monsieurs formed the soundtrack throughout many of my teenage years and I will forever cherish the memories I have attached to this music.

‘Beste. Stuurlui. Ooit.’ houses some of my all-time personal classics. Songs like ‘Amsterdam-Noord’, ‘Het Beloofde Land’, and the brilliant 11,5-minute long ‘De Wereld Is Net Niet Genoeg’ will forever be in my personal hall of fame of songs that belong to who I once was. Everywhere I went, a song by this band would be blasting through my speakers. Whether it’d be through my trusted iPod Classic or during my local radio show: I always made sure to incorporate The Don’t Touch My Croque-Monsieurs into my daily life. Here we are in 2025 listening to this album for the first time in many years and it brings back countless of great memories. Sadly, all songs by this band have been removed from Spotify making it difficult to get a hold of what once was. However, moments like these make me appreciate even more that I own physical copies of this band’s music. This way, I will forever have a chunk of my own personal history within reaching distance.